Women at the Wargame

Is this how you see it?

    Last Saturday night, we were engaged in our usual post game Mexican restaurant dinner wrapup. We were just finishing up a discussion on the pros and cons of the old Empire rules when an interesting topic came up. Jacob, often called Sensei, because he can usually answer various rules trivia on the spot, asked a question that was a bit more philosophical than the usual topics we discuss.  “What do think it would take to get more women into gaming?” Of course there are plenty of women already out there gaming, usually in the domains of roleplaying, boardgames or card games. But Jacob was being very specific, how do we get them into wargaming?
    The result of his question was contemplative silence.
    David finally suggested that maybe we should play more fantasy games, since fantasy is a genre of fiction that appeals to women as equally as it appeals to men. Richard suggested that we should run more demos. He pointed out that board games groups and the Magic group are constantly hosting demos. The result, more women have been slowly trickling into those groups over the years. Thomas suggested that we should recruit more young guys into our group, and maybe those  guys will bring their girlfriends or sisters with them. Given the disproportionate amount of socially-challenged young men at the store, that suggestion brought a lot of chuckles. When it came around to my turn I was all so at a loss, but then I remembered that Hunnic army.
     Years ago, a few of us got together for an  Ancients battle. Now this game was a bit out of the ordinary, in that Doug was bringing a relative to play. Nothing strange there right? Heck Doug's son Scott playes with us all the time. Except this relative was his niece, Samantha, who had just started on her grad degree in history. A girl, you say, well that is a bit out of the norm. Ah but it gets better, it seems that Sam was very much into Late Roman history and had done several papers on the Huns. In fact she was so 'into' the Huns that she had actually 'borrowed' Doug's Foundry Huns to paint up. So imagine our surprise when Sam showed up with no less than 43 beautifully painted horsemen; turns out Sam had dabbled as an art major.
    Over the years Doug had of course chatted about his hobby at the dinner table and to any relative that would listen. His son, Scott, had taken the bait, hook line and sinker. Though for a while we were worried that his only interest would be 40K, but eventually he came around to historicals. Sam it seems had been paying attention as well, and while in town over the summer break she wanted to give it a go. More specifically she wanted to see how the Huns fared on the field of battle. So a game of Warhammer Ancients was set up, yep, Doug has never moved on from WAB.
    We did a very small-scale, maybe 400 figs,  Battle of Chalons, the Hunnic invasion of Gaul. Jennifer played the Huns, and Scott played her allies. I played Aetius and the Romans, while Doug played my Visigoth allies. It was the Old Guys vs the Kids. The WAB rules are fairly simple to grasp so we figured that Sam would pick them up pretty quick. Turns out that she had not only read through the rules but had spent a bit of time online at the WAB forums and watching some game matches on Youtube.  Everyone at the table, Jennifer included, seemed to be having a good time, even while she was witnessing the true power of Late Roman might.
    There was, however, one nagging element that seemed to spring up over and over again, like a irritating fly that refuses to go away. The fact is that a pretty girl at a game store often stands out like Snow White among the dwarves. Heck any girl at a game store usually stands out. So soon  'flies' both old and young started  popping up unannounced, sidling up to the table, so that they could admire the game and 'ahem'  Sam. But what was worse was that they all wanted to  give her “helpful” advice.  “You should really hit his flank right now.”“Don't worry about his flank; hit him straight down the middle.” "You realize that your Huns have the Parthian Shot ability'   “You should pull back and force the Romans to come to you.” All these armchair generals ready to score Sam a victory, out of the goodness of their hormonal hearts, I am sure. One older gamer came over and proceeded to tell Jennifer, not the rest of us, about the “actual” Battle of Chalons. The fact that Jennifer told the man that she had written a paper on the battle did not deter Mr. Windbag a bit from waxing historical.
    Now this started to become quite annoying after a while. Commenting on the paint job and the terrain is fine. Giving advice to the players in the middle of a game is not.  I've never liked it  and I could tell it was getting under Sam's skin. Why so much 'advice'? Was it because she's a girl playing a man's game? In fact Scott and Sam were giving me and Doug quite a beating. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate horse archers? They are a major pain in the rear axis, especiallly when handled by someone with a bit of patience that can avoid the scrum. And Sam was handling them with a fine hand indeed.
    The game finally ended in a draw, mostly because the Hun's allies had gotten themselves in a very bad position. Thanks for saving my butt, Doug!
    After the game, I asked Sam if she had enjoyed herself, and she hesitated to answer. For any guys who do not understand, when a woman is quiet, it generally means she is unhappy. I apologized for the experience she had and asked her if she would like to try another game next week, but this time at Doug's place. Again, she hesitated before she eventually conceded that, “this gaming thing just is not me, I guess.” I did not know her well enough to try and talk her into a future game, so I said nothing, though internally, I called shenanigans. The fact is, when Sam was not being bombarded by men who wanted to tell her what to do with her army, she was having a lot of fun running rings around my Romans.
    That night before she said goodbye, I told her if she ever wanted to play another Ancients game, my Romans would be ready. She thanked me but assured me that she probably would not. She said, “It's too bad. The Huns were my dream army, and I had a lot of fun painting them up. I'm sure Uncle Doug will find something to do with them.” I tried to encourage her to keep them, just in case, because they made Doug's paintjobs look C class in comparison and he's also never been any good with Horse Archers. She smiled at that a little, and said she would “think about it.”
    I never saw that young lady and her beautifully-painted Huns again.
    Gentlemen, if you want a lady to get into the hobby, the first thing you must do is treat her like a serious gamer. Don't assume that she is an idiot that needs her hand held throughout the game. Don't assume that she is ignorant about history. Don't assume that the army on her side of the table must belong to a man.
    A woman might be at the game table because she is gaming a historical setting that she has heavily researched. A woman might be at the game table because she has been dying to try out a rule set.  Believe it or not, she might be at the game table because she actually know what she is doing there.

Haha Names have been changed to protect the innocent, sorry Jen

The Hazards of Running a Gamestor

Just the other day I was at my local gamestore with plenty of time on my hands.Too often I am up there for a game and don't really get the time to look at everything. So I was quietly going through all the merchandise and was up to the new Osprey Rules. (whoever thought Osprey would get into the rules business?) It was then that some of the 'regulars' were starting to show up. Ah yes, the 'regulars', I remember them well from my days of running a counter back East. Back when the local gamestore owner was away helping out his daughter, the club and I took turns running the store for a month.

The 'regulars' or 'irregulars' as I like to call them are those guys that seem to be a part of every hobby. Usually you only have to spend a few hours with them at a time, but those poor store owners have to deal with them on a constant basis. Here are the ones that stand out for me.

'Lexicon Leo'- the man is a walking dictionary on his niche hobby. It can be a specific period of history, a work of fantasy or more often the fluff of his favorite game. He always seems to have some strange job that allows him to spend endless hours on forums and books devoted to his game. Leo is the guy that can tell you what the badge or color scheme is for any unit in the game. Just ask and then prepare for the flood to come because the answer is never short.

'Roy the Rulesman'- got a guy that buys every edition, supplement or codex that comes out and immediately analyzes them overnight. Well that's Roy,  also often doubles as your cheesiest player when it comes to any game. We often find him in some heated arguement with the DM or his immediate opponent.

'Bullhorn Bob'- good ole Bob, close your eyes and you will hear him, no matter where he is in the store. Bob tends to be loud and lacks a filter; he often forgets that there are other patrons.

'Glory Days Gary'- ah Gary, dear Gary, if only he could leave the glory days behind, but no, everyone must hear about that one day where he rolled 6 dice and they all came up '6's, which of course allowed him to sink the Bismark, or the day he rolled the flank of the Russian army and Borodino. I always wonder how many times our counter clerk has heard that story.

"Niche Nick"- always plays some oddball period or OOP game, no problem for us but always seems to be asking the owner to order a single pack from some obscure company. Nick, "well why can't you get it ?" Owner, "because they need a minimum of a $200 order, and I do not think that I can sell $195 of cannibal fairies. Why don't you just order direct?" "But there's a $10 postage charge and I only need 1 pack" comes the whine.

"Hold it till the Apocalypse Arch"-take a look at the hold bin, half of it will be devoted to Arch. Promises to buy it soon but always ends up buying something else on payday. Really cannot blame Arch for this, he's a little to suceptable to Jack and all his schemes.

"Zip the Lip Lem"- you watch your opponent carefully to see if he remembers to moves his unit up to the objective, just when it looks like he's forgotten, Lem walks up and "hey don't forget to take that objective this turn or Archie will win by default'. Aaargh! Yes, Lem is always giving advice to those playing games that he's not involved in. I have even seen him do it while a tournament was in play, and that was not a pretty sight. Don't mess with those WRG players, but Lem simply cannot help himself.

I could go on of course but I think you guys get the idea. Your local storeowner goes through a lot just to provide us with a place to buy and play with those toys that are dear to us. So keep supporting them with your cash and occassionally draw a  Leo or Gary away from the counter.

To Be a Good Chief, You Must First Be An Indian

Let me tell you the story of two gamers currently in crisis: Tom and Derek. Tom and Derek have both reached the point in their lives where they have lost their love for gaming. They still want to game, occasionally, the problem is, no one wants to game with them. Furthermore, they assume that the fault lies in the gaming community, not them, despite the fact that other guys have to turn players away from their tables when they run scenarios. 

Tom is an old friend from the club I joined when I was still a fresh-faced lad. Tom is fifteen years older than me, which means he is old enough to be declared a monument. Tom has always been a peculiar sort of gamer. I recently told you about my friend Jack, who is the womanizer of rule systems. Tom is Jack's opposite. He has two games in his repertoire: Age of Sails naval and Franco-Prussian. That is it. He is the encyclopedia of these periods, and if I ever have a question regarding Napoleon III's army, I ask Tom.

In theory, the more you know about a particular historical period, the more enthusiastic you will will be about building a force or running a game for that period. Most gamers understand that when playing a historical wargame, you are not simulating, turn by turn, an actual 1:1 scale battle. What would be the point when everyone at the table already knows the outcome? An ideal historical wargame gives you the flavor of the period, an accurate depiction of the strength and weaknesses of each ship or unit on the table, but it also introduces an element of luck, granting you the possibility (however slight), of pulling off a few feats outside the constraints of historical reality. 

The ideal wargame should also be accomplished in no more than five hours. Why? Because I want a damn conclusion! I've always hated setting up a big battle and only playing 2-3 hours of game time, speculating on who might have won and then picking up and going home. We won't even go into the attention span of some of the newer gamers.

But Tom believes that a good rule set should have a highly detailed chart for each ship or unit in the game; otherwise, the rule set is simplistic and ahistorical. He does not just want a game that gives you a feel for the period; he wants a game that explores all the minutiae of warfare, as true to a recreation of all the elements of battle as possible. While this may be commendable in theory, it does not make for interesting game play, especially if your opponent is not decisive, has a hard time catching onto new rule sets or only has 4 hours to play. We're not in collage any more Tom! We have lives! Ahem sorry. 

Did I also mention that he writes his own rules for both periods, and they are the only rules he will play in his periods. Asking him to play a faster set of rules that is quicker to learn and does not require a lot of charts is asking him to compromise. He does not compromise. Tom pops by the game store every once in while with his minis to see if anyone is willing to play a pick-up game. He is always surprised and disappointed when he gets very few takers. I see him less and less each year. His health is not declining, just his love for the hobby.

Another gamer in crisis is my friend Derek. Derek is younger than me, and, unlike Tom, his gaming interests are varied. He will play historical, sci-fi, fantasy, and board games. His true love though is role-playing. D&D was his gateway into gaming, so he will always carry a torch for the game. 

Derek has no problems being the DM. In fact, he enjoys the storytelling aspect of role-playing. To Derek's credit, he provides miniatures for his games, giving the theater of the mind a little dimension. He comes prepared with pre-generated character sheets for those who don't want to go through the rigmarole of rolling up new characters. He even brings a little mood music from fantasy films and video games to play softly in the background. It takes work, commitment, and enthusiasm to be a DM, and I applaud Derek's willingness to do it. 

In my experience, you will always find people willing to play an rpg, but very few people willing to run one. So with this rule being pretty tried and true, then why is Derek finding it hard to get a group together to play in his campaigns? The answer is quiet simple, he is not a good DM. Unlike army-scale miniature wargaming, role-playing is all about a player building a connection with his or her character(s). It's a journey, and since it is more contained in scope than say, using the King of War rule set to recreate the Siege of Gondor, its appeal lies in building your character up, through a series of adventures, into a seasoned warrior, spell caster, rogue, or healer. In essence, you watch him go from boy to man. 

At its best, role-playing is the most immersive form of gaming out there, and a good DM has you anticipating your next adventure. A bad DM will leave you with the feeling that his role-playing sessions are a waste of time. You leave the table with no enthusiasm for the few characters that survive the mission, and you could really care less what the next adventure brings. This is how you will feel after a game hosted by Derek. Trust me on this.

Derek's main sin as a DM, a little too eager to kill off the players and their faithful henchmen. He tries to lure you into sudden death and tries to encourage you to make stupid decisions, you can see the gleam in his eye. And when you don't fall for his tricks, preferring to take the smart route by running away and/or hiding, well he almost pouts. Now, I and some of the Old Guard are use to Derek and know how to walk the knife's edge. Heck, I use to not even name my characters till they reached 3^rd level. Of course we use to play Traveller were your character could die as you rolled him up. But now Derek is having trouble recruiting some of the younger gamers, who raised on these online games don't really understand the concept of a player dying. They are use to putting a lot of endless hours into their roles/stats and really don't 'appreciate' being killed off. I won't go into what I think of that but needless to say Derek's style does not sit well with them at all. I suggested starting the kids at 5-6^th level and easing up on them a bit for the first session. (shocking, coming form me) But Derek insists on 1^st level otherwise what is the point he says. 'Getting new players' I suggest. 'Never' grumbles Derek.

Despite the socially-awkward stereotypes about gaming, this is ultimately a communal, social hobby. When you are running a game for others, your responsibility as GM or DM is to make sure that your players are learning the rules, getting a flavor for your setting, and ultimately having fun.

In essence, Tom and Derek have spent too much time being chiefs, and not enough time being Indians. As consummate chiefs, they have neither the inclination nor the humility to listen to their players' input, lest their own grand vision for a game be compromised. And yet, their tribe is dwindling in numbers, and they can''t figure out why.

It does not matter if you spent all week preparing a scenario if no one shows up to play it. So if you are suffering from the same malaise as Tom and Derek and find that no one is showing up to your games, ask yourself this question, “Did your players have fun the last time you ran a game?” If your answer is “I don't know. I did not think to ask,” you are doing it wrong.

“But It Is All Fantasy.” Not!

I already see it now: “fuddy duddy,” “curmudgeon,” “unimaginative”, and “old geezer,” are probably some of the colorful terms I will be seeing in the comments section for this post. I consider myself, primarily, a historical wargamer. Nothing gets me to the game table faster than the sight of beautifully painted Ancients miniatures. I have been a history enthusiast since I was in junior high many, many moons ago. But before I fell in love with history, my passion was reading fantasy and light sci-fi (heavy on adventure, light on the science) novels.

A few times a year, I step outside my historical bubble and indulge in fantasy or sci-fi gaming. I have found myself most recently intrigued and a bit befuddled by this Dragon Rampant game. For those unfamiliar with Dragon Rampant, it is Osprey's high fantasy battle rule set. Since Osprey does not offer a figure range for Dragon Ramoant, you can theoretically appropriate figures from other miniature ranges, including Ral Partha, GW, Mantic, and the Bones range from Reaper, and use them for your forces. 

The rule book provides some sample armies for tried-and-true forces such as orcs, lizardmen, the undead, and several variations of human armies. The true thrust of the rule set though is to have fun and be creative. Unit sizes are representative, not set in stone. Thus, you could have one Tom Mier knight and make him an individual leader figure, or you can use him to represent, what would usually be six, elite or heavy foot men.

Since you can use any figure range you like, and you can represent your units as creatively as possible, a Dragon Rampant tournament can showcase armies that range from standard, to creative, to downright absurd. One guy used plastic zoo animals, the kind you find in a bag in the Wal-Mart toy section. One fellow made a rock army. He used smooth stones and pebbles of various heights and sizes and painted angry faces on them and attached the stones to wooden Litko bases. The Dragon Rampant book shows an army of sheep dressed in knit sweaters. Shades of Hott.

For some folks, fantasy is another word for “anything goes.” If I can imagine it (a literal rock army), it should be able to hit the game table. These folks would say, “What's the point of having a fantasy tournament if you are going to limit how I choose to represent my armies? If I want to field Christmas elves instead of Tolkein elves, as long as I can make a list for them, that is my business.” 

Now this is where I will take some flak, but let me explain. There is a thin line between creativity and absurdity, and Dragon Rampant, with its representative units invites chaos into fantasy, and I am not talking about Nurglings. Call me old-fashioned, but for me, high fantasy, as we know it, has its basis in canon works, from such authors as Tolkein, Moorcock, Howard, McCaffrey, Martin, Jordan, and yes, even Games Workshop. These are the men and women that, for lack of a better term, created and/or built upon the fantasy tropes we know and love: dragons, elves, dwarves, goblins, skeletons wielding swords, paladins, balrogs etc. 

The high fantasy world is expansive and allows those who want to play in the proverbial sand box the opportunity to be creative. Are your dragons inspired by Western art or Eastern art? Are your elves the noble race devised by Tolkein or the dark trickster figures of early English mythology? Is your undead army comprised of skeletons, zombie shamblers, or a mix of the two?

In my humble, perhaps, old-fashioned opinion, there is plenty of room to be creative with the established races of the high fantasy world without reinventing the wheel until it it looks like some torture device that dark elves would approve of. I think in some ways, Dragon Rampant, for better and worse, invites “dumping ground” armies. What do I have lying around the house that I have no other use for? Pokemon figs your kid brother grew out of three days after receiving them, now elite foot. Tardis Christmas ornament you say? Check your glasses, sir, that's a spell caster. 

The rules invite a level of laziness, confusion, and just pure stupidity that is apt to be exploited by the less mature gamer. The game rewards the non-painters in the hobby. After all, do you really need to paint those tentacle puppet fingers you glued to a foam board base, if they have already been dyed red? Game play can also be furiously confusing if you literally don't know what you are looking at. In a traditional army of men, typically the most well-armored unit on the table will be elite or heavy foot. Easy peasy, but in an army of hedges, how do you easily remember which unit is which? If I can not look across the table and have a pretty good idea what I am looking at, I have to ask, which adds another level of annoyance to Dragon Rampant games. Is that grouping of small Christmas lights on the lazer cut wooden base light foot or bellicose foot? I can't remember. Which one is the greater warbeast, the giraffe or the rhino? 

I never know what I am going to see in a Dragon Rampant game, and that's not always a good thing. Oh for the sanity of Granbretan. Yep Granbretan, dig out your Moorcock, kids and see some real fantasy!

History Ain't Fair

I should start by saying, if you were brave enough to click on this article, thank you! The title of may have some of you anticipating a charged political rant, but I assure you that's not what this is post is about, not entirely. Nevertheless, I should warn you that this post is about a controversial topic that has come up recently in my hobby, so in essence, this article touches on the new politics of gaming. 

I am talking about points-based games. Point-based games have become the norm, not the exception in miniature gaming. There is an unspoken expectation that when you come to the game table, you and the other players should arrive with balanced forces based on a rules-generated point system. While I understand the appeal of everyone having a shot at victory, the utopia of equal forces is not often aligned with the reality of warfare. 

Last year, I hosted a huge 15mm Battle of Gettysburg game. I provided all the terrain, and I painted both forces. The rule set of choice was Fire and Fury, which, in my humble opinion, does a good job balancing fun with historical reality. Some of my old sparring partners from the club actually drove down to my side of the pond to play. I also took on three new(ish) guys who were interested in gaming the American Civil War. Pete, a quiet kid in his mid-20's, who is also a Civil War reenactor, immediately got my approval. Chris, late 20's, had never played a historical game in his life (40k and Kings of War are his games of choice), but he picks up rules super fast and keeps his cellphone out of reach the whole time he plays. So another “yes” for me. 

Then there was Evan, Chris' friend. I did not know much about him, but he professed to have an interest in the Civil War, so with slight hesitation I gave a him weary “yes”. I made Pete one of my Confederate players; perfect choice for a guy that dons North Virginia grays for reenactments. Then I split up Chris and Pete, in fear that if they were next to each other, they might spend more time jabbering than paying attention to the game. Chris got a Union cavalry force, and Evan received a Confederate infantry force. 

The old timers at the table quickly settled into the game, playing their respective forces with almost quiet precision. Pete checked his list a few times, observed some of the seasoned gamers at his side, and learned by their example. Chris was the most extroverted person at the table, trash talking his opponents (in a fun way), and occasionally asking me to clarify a rule or two. Perfectly acceptable table talk, and he asked good questions that the other players at the table might also have been curious about but were afraid to ask.

Then there was Evan. Evan is the player that slowly crushes a GM's dream game with every word that comes out of his mouth. Stupid questions that are easily addressed if he simply read the quick reference sheet I had made for each player. Bipolar reactions to every action made by or taken against his units: angry grunting when he took casualties, and loudly cheering for himself when he inflicted casualties. And worst of all, whining about the discrepancies in size and composition between the Blues and the Grays. “Why do they have more guys?” “Shouldn't we have equal forces?” 

Before I could snap on the kid, one of my old gaming buddies, Joe, said, “You do know who lost the Battle of Gettysburg, don't you?” Evan did not speak, but his wide, dumb eyes said, “That would be a 'no'”. Joe followed up Evan's silence with, “I thought you knew about the Civil War. Gettysburg is a historic push back of Confederate forces. It's the friggin' turning point of the war, and even people who don't know the Civil War know about Gettysburg.” 

Again, crickets. It was the Union's turn, and all the men at the table were making their move, including Chris, who did nothing to come to the aid of his buddy. It came to the offensive fire phase of the turn. The Union players, with superior forces in every way, were aided by some luck of the Irish dice rolling. The Confederates took devastating hits, Pete especially, whose brow was beginning to show a glisten of sweat. The two other seasoned gamers on the Confederate side, Don and James, took their pummeling in stride. Evan, on the other hand, had an epic tantrum at the table. He threw his dice down in disgust, flipped his ruler, and said, loud enough for everyone in the game store to hear, “This game is stupid. Why even play? We do not even have a chance of winning, so why even play this stupid scenario?” 

Again, Joe to the rescue, with deadpan calmness, “Because it is historical, and because July 1^st was yesterday.” “History does not have anything to do with it. Forces should be balanced. These are not balanced forces. What's the point of having a point-based system when the forces don't even have to balanced? That's just stupid,” Evan whined. 

Finally, I jump in with as calm a voice as I could muster, “You know the Confederates were greatly outnumbered at Gettysburg? As was Napoleon at Waterloo, as was the Germans at Kursk. Nevertheless we play these battles because some of us actually get into the history of the period. Do you think an army makes a brigade or two sit out the battle if they notice that they have more men on the ground than the force across the field, Evan?” 

Crickets again. “No,” I said, in what had to be my most patronizing tone. “I don't know what other games have taught you, but in the real world, war is not fair. The opposing force does not care if you are evenly matched; hell, they would prefer to have all the advantages. All they want to do is crush as many of the enemy as necessary, while sustaining as few losses as possible, and secure their objective. The winning force does not hand out “You will get 'em next time, Tiger” trophies to the remaining enemy at the end of battle. There's no hugs or conciliatory pats on the shoulders for their foes.” 

Evan was still at a loss for words, so I just said, “If you are not having fun at this game, then give your remaining forces to Pete. He will be glad to have them, because unlike you, Pete actually knows about the Civil War, and he's willing to play Confederates, despite the odds.”

Pete was a little embarrassed, poor kid. Evan decided to give his forces to Pete and stormed off in a huff. Chris stayed with us. He was having fun; he was also kicking butt, which always helps.

This brings me to the problem with point-based games. They create the expectations of equality, when historically, a clash between forces with equal strength and composition was almost unheard of. Historical gamers do not play historical games because both sides expect victory. We play because we love the period. Ultimately, someone has to build the weaker force, and it takes a man of strong character to take on that responsibility. He knows his chances of victory are slim to none, but he is willing to do his part for the sake of celebrating history and continuing this hobby of ours for future generations.

I am supposed to run a 15mm Alamo game next month. I know, I should wait til next March, but I have been bitten by the bug. Guess I won't be inviting 'Even' Evan to that one.

Brief Word on This Solar Eclipse Business

So there's something pretty big happening today, and a lot of people are excited about it. My sister asked me yesterday if I was going to watch the solar eclipse. I told her I might; I honestly had not thought about it. She was stunned by my lack of enthusiasm.

I can't tell if the eclipse is just a non-event for me, or if I am just sick of all the talk and excitement surrounding it. Social media just make things worse by allowing people to drone on and on about the thing. I know, ironic coming from a guy who is writing a blog.

I had a work buddy tell me that he went moutain climbing Labor Day weekend, and he dubbed that “great fun.” I am an indoor, solitary guy. Guys like me rarely get the urge to take off our socks and tiptoe through the tulips, so to speak. My nephew Tyler had to explain what those 13.1 and 26.2 bumper stickers meant, if that tells you anything.

The last solar eclipse I watched was in 1979. Some friends and I drove downtown so that we could view it in the park. We did not have solar eclipse glasses. We had made homemade viewing instruments out of household items. I made a viewer out of a Pringles can. We were freezing cold but also brimming with youthful excitement. I wonder if any old timers passed behind us while we had our faces plastered to shoe boxes and a Pringles can, and just shook their heads at us.

Here's a bit of eclipse advice. Today, when I interact with any cashiers or baristas, when they say “Thank You,” “Have a Nice Day,” or “Come Again,” (assuming they can be bothered to do that), I will reply, “R'Lyeh,” just to see what their reaction is. If they look at you with stunned confusion, just smile and leave. If they reply with, “Wgah'nagl Fhtagn,” or “Cthulhu Will Rise,” then you have found proof that there are still cool people in this world. 

 

How to Hook Gamers

    So, have you ever announced a game and no one showed, found yourself sitting at your con table all alone, or posted on a public forum but got no takers? Sometimes it's just bad timing, holiday or last session of the show, and sometimes it's the bait. Yes, Gentlemen, bait! You can't just throw out a hook with no bait and expect gamers to show at your table. You need a lure to wet their appetites. So I have paid attention to Jack over the years and here is my advice on what I find 'sexy'.

Make it  Visual : This is the big one, and it encompasses many things, but in essence, what I am asking is your table 'hot' or even appealing? The vast majority of gamers are men, and they like eye candy. I once attended a gun show where one of the dealers hired a car model to hang out at his table and hand out flyers. Needless to say that table was packed the whole show.
Eye Candy, does your table have any? Will the casual gamer walk by and find themselves drawn to look at your game? Because it doesn't matter how good your rules or scenario is if you don't get their attention.

So what is the minimum necessary, because we all can't be laboring years to build that 3D beauty like our train enthusiast cousins.
- nice dropcloth or terrain squares that match your theme. Easily done with a painter's dropcloth, spray cans and an aerial photo of the terrain.
- 3D foam hills and decent trees that work well with your dropsheet. Green hills on desert cloths ain't getting you a date, neither is dollar store Christmas trees on your Waterloo table.
-and no felt, if possible. Felt and carpet hills is how I started back in the day, but I threw that all away after I opened my first Wargames Illustrated magazine. It just ain't cool no more.
-Painted minis. If it's a skirmish game with less than 40 figs then they should be well painted, if an army game then quantity can make up for quality. Just remember in the case of the latter always put the best painted in the front ranks. Unpainted figs, unacceptable, no excuse here people, they are just plain ugly, and I mean that 'nice girl' your mom wanted you to date ugly.
Case in point, Had a kid try and run a game last summer using his unpainted 1/72 modern plastics, not one drop of paint on them. Was it any wonder that he never got a game going, which was a shame because I took a look at his rules, and the boy had done a lot of research on modern team SOPs. But for most of us, the days of playing with unpainted airfix  models is long past.
-One eye catching piece on the table. Ancients game, a nice temple, Renaissance game, a few nice buildings. Just something  really nice to catch one's attention. Saw a Sudan game a few years back being fought on some boring desert terrain, but the guy added a small river bend with a wonderfully painted steamboat on it. As the kids would say a little BLING.
-So put on that nice dress, I, mean cover sheet, and some nice warpaint on your figs and get some players hooked into your flavor of the week.