Jack, Be Good

Jack, Be Good

We all know Jack. He's the guy in our gaming club that blows through new rules sets the way that Harry Flashman dallies with beautiful across the globe. The rouge of the current rule set is still on his cheek, while he is eyeing the next hot thing to enter the game store. If any adult needs Ritalin, it's Jack.

The Jack in my club will remain anonymous, but everyone in our gaming community knows his reputation as a rule set lothario. Jack likes to talk up the latest rule set or historical period that is tickling his fancy at the moment. Everyone around him, including yours truly, is like a baby bird, eating up every idea he's pitching in our little mouths, knowing that his commitment to the flame of the moment will be but a brief whisper in the tick-tock of time. Jack proposes a test game for the following weekend, saying that he will build everything for the scenario, and of course the Cult of Jack enthusiastically agrees to show up.

Why do we poor saps keep falling for Jack's dalliances? Because I am convinced our Jack is one of the fastest builders in the Western world. “I will have 50 figures ready for both sides by the end of the week,” he often says, and he means it. Painting 100 beautiful minis in one week, no big deal for this guy. He can also knock out a table-full of gorgeous, handmade terrain in an hour or two. His tables are a visual feast for the eyes. His scenarios are fun and challenging. They are balanced enough so that everyone is on the edge of their seats until the last casualty is removed from the table.

After the test game is finished is when Jack is at his deadliest. He preys on the excitement of his peers. Over a hot post-game meal, everyone at the table is talking about the army they are going to build. Jack is talking about a new fun scenario and the terrain he's going to build for that scenario. We settle on a game to be played in a few weeks, enough time for us slower painters to build up our forces.

 I will always check in with Jack a week before the game. My emails used to ask, “How many figs have you built for the game next week?” Now my emails ask, “You are still building for that game we are having next week, right?” Sometimes Jack has mercy on his slow-to-build friends and assures me that the game is still on. Other times, I could almost hear the cackle from the other side of the computer screen, as he types, “That game was so three weeks ago, dude. Let me tell you about my new flavor of the month.”

Once, Jack and I were building opposing forces for ECW. We had set up the game, and got the club on board. Jack and I were at our local hobby store buying the last of what we needed to fill out our ranks. Jack had his Pike & Shotte Infantry box in hand, when I caught him glancing over at the new Victrix Warriors of Carthage box to his left. As Jack reached up his hand to pull the Victrix box off the shelf, I pulled out the stun gun I keep in my jacket pocket and told him, “As God is my witness, if you touch that box, .” Jack just turned to me and grinned. He's a kid in a candy store, and our hobby is in a new Golden Age. Who could blame him?