Women at the Wargame

Is this how you see it?

    Last Saturday night, we were engaged in our usual post game Mexican restaurant dinner wrapup. We were just finishing up a discussion on the pros and cons of the old Empire rules when an interesting topic came up. Jacob, often called Sensei, because he can usually answer various rules trivia on the spot, asked a question that was a bit more philosophical than the usual topics we discuss.  “What do think it would take to get more women into gaming?” Of course there are plenty of women already out there gaming, usually in the domains of roleplaying, boardgames or card games. But Jacob was being very specific, how do we get them into wargaming?
    The result of his question was contemplative silence.
    David finally suggested that maybe we should play more fantasy games, since fantasy is a genre of fiction that appeals to women as equally as it appeals to men. Richard suggested that we should run more demos. He pointed out that board games groups and the Magic group are constantly hosting demos. The result, more women have been slowly trickling into those groups over the years. Thomas suggested that we should recruit more young guys into our group, and maybe those  guys will bring their girlfriends or sisters with them. Given the disproportionate amount of socially-challenged young men at the store, that suggestion brought a lot of chuckles. When it came around to my turn I was all so at a loss, but then I remembered that Hunnic army.
     Years ago, a few of us got together for an  Ancients battle. Now this game was a bit out of the ordinary, in that Doug was bringing a relative to play. Nothing strange there right? Heck Doug's son Scott playes with us all the time. Except this relative was his niece, Samantha, who had just started on her grad degree in history. A girl, you say, well that is a bit out of the norm. Ah but it gets better, it seems that Sam was very much into Late Roman history and had done several papers on the Huns. In fact she was so 'into' the Huns that she had actually 'borrowed' Doug's Foundry Huns to paint up. So imagine our surprise when Sam showed up with no less than 43 beautifully painted horsemen; turns out Sam had dabbled as an art major.
    Over the years Doug had of course chatted about his hobby at the dinner table and to any relative that would listen. His son, Scott, had taken the bait, hook line and sinker. Though for a while we were worried that his only interest would be 40K, but eventually he came around to historicals. Sam it seems had been paying attention as well, and while in town over the summer break she wanted to give it a go. More specifically she wanted to see how the Huns fared on the field of battle. So a game of Warhammer Ancients was set up, yep, Doug has never moved on from WAB.
    We did a very small-scale, maybe 400 figs,  Battle of Chalons, the Hunnic invasion of Gaul. Jennifer played the Huns, and Scott played her allies. I played Aetius and the Romans, while Doug played my Visigoth allies. It was the Old Guys vs the Kids. The WAB rules are fairly simple to grasp so we figured that Sam would pick them up pretty quick. Turns out that she had not only read through the rules but had spent a bit of time online at the WAB forums and watching some game matches on Youtube.  Everyone at the table, Jennifer included, seemed to be having a good time, even while she was witnessing the true power of Late Roman might.
    There was, however, one nagging element that seemed to spring up over and over again, like a irritating fly that refuses to go away. The fact is that a pretty girl at a game store often stands out like Snow White among the dwarves. Heck any girl at a game store usually stands out. So soon  'flies' both old and young started  popping up unannounced, sidling up to the table, so that they could admire the game and 'ahem'  Sam. But what was worse was that they all wanted to  give her “helpful” advice.  “You should really hit his flank right now.”“Don't worry about his flank; hit him straight down the middle.” "You realize that your Huns have the Parthian Shot ability'   “You should pull back and force the Romans to come to you.” All these armchair generals ready to score Sam a victory, out of the goodness of their hormonal hearts, I am sure. One older gamer came over and proceeded to tell Jennifer, not the rest of us, about the “actual” Battle of Chalons. The fact that Jennifer told the man that she had written a paper on the battle did not deter Mr. Windbag a bit from waxing historical.
    Now this started to become quite annoying after a while. Commenting on the paint job and the terrain is fine. Giving advice to the players in the middle of a game is not.  I've never liked it  and I could tell it was getting under Sam's skin. Why so much 'advice'? Was it because she's a girl playing a man's game? In fact Scott and Sam were giving me and Doug quite a beating. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate horse archers? They are a major pain in the rear axis, especiallly when handled by someone with a bit of patience that can avoid the scrum. And Sam was handling them with a fine hand indeed.
    The game finally ended in a draw, mostly because the Hun's allies had gotten themselves in a very bad position. Thanks for saving my butt, Doug!
    After the game, I asked Sam if she had enjoyed herself, and she hesitated to answer. For any guys who do not understand, when a woman is quiet, it generally means she is unhappy. I apologized for the experience she had and asked her if she would like to try another game next week, but this time at Doug's place. Again, she hesitated before she eventually conceded that, “this gaming thing just is not me, I guess.” I did not know her well enough to try and talk her into a future game, so I said nothing, though internally, I called shenanigans. The fact is, when Sam was not being bombarded by men who wanted to tell her what to do with her army, she was having a lot of fun running rings around my Romans.
    That night before she said goodbye, I told her if she ever wanted to play another Ancients game, my Romans would be ready. She thanked me but assured me that she probably would not. She said, “It's too bad. The Huns were my dream army, and I had a lot of fun painting them up. I'm sure Uncle Doug will find something to do with them.” I tried to encourage her to keep them, just in case, because they made Doug's paintjobs look C class in comparison and he's also never been any good with Horse Archers. She smiled at that a little, and said she would “think about it.”
    I never saw that young lady and her beautifully-painted Huns again.
    Gentlemen, if you want a lady to get into the hobby, the first thing you must do is treat her like a serious gamer. Don't assume that she is an idiot that needs her hand held throughout the game. Don't assume that she is ignorant about history. Don't assume that the army on her side of the table must belong to a man.
    A woman might be at the game table because she is gaming a historical setting that she has heavily researched. A woman might be at the game table because she has been dying to try out a rule set.  Believe it or not, she might be at the game table because she actually know what she is doing there.

Haha Names have been changed to protect the innocent, sorry Jen